It’s a hazy Wednseday afternoon. The kind of day where the weight of summer and all its nostalgia bears down on you hard. The end of summer always requires the inevitable confrontation that the days will get shorter, the air colder, and change will inevitably come. Here in the Bay Area, the first month of school has passed and, for the first time in almost two years, sidewalks have seen traffic and the hourly tide of students has returned. It’s crazy to think that I haven’t seen ‘normal’ university life since the first year of my Ph.D. (I’m in my third now:P). Mask mandates and prolonged restrictions give the beginning of this semester a tenuous peace, but one that feels like I can begin to grow again.
Although the end of summer is only arriving now, especially in the humid Bay, I’ve realized I’ve been carrying this ‘end of summer’ melancholia for the past year. In fact the last year was the epitome of melancholy for me. Every week seemed to blur together and every idle moment balanced on the edge of stagnation and acceleration. Where worry was born out of worry. And I guess this realization is what’s driven me to finally write my first blog post. Theres a warmth and a bitterness in the reflections of ones experiences but with this blog I’d like to begin to make more sense of these things. I think that by putting these reflections out into the open I can see myself more clearly. And bring meaning to the strange that is constantly happening around us. “We have seasons when we flourish and seasons when the leaves fall from us, revealing our bare bones. Given time, they grow again.” - In Wintering, by Katherine May Well, here’s my first blog post. Actually first(ish) blog post since there is another blog I began while studying abroad, floating in the ethernet somewhere. I wish it was more jovial but these are the times I guess. For anyone interested, the format of my blog will probably revolve around my rambling thoughts, such as this one, but will also include more structured posts related to academia (e.g. grad school advice, coding advice, etc.) and science (e.g. theoretical discussion). I also plan to occasionally post personal soundtracks which are often a reflection of my current state of mind. Side Note:
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December 2023
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